I frequently come across social media posts from frustrated travelers, airing grievances about Airline X. They lost luggage, missed connections, or encountered unhelpful staff members. And I get it—traveling can be a hassle, and airlines don’t always deliver the best customer service experience. But as someone who travels often, is married to an airline pilot, and sees the industry’s inner workings, I’ve noticed something: people often unwittingly bring these negative experiences upon themselves.

Now, don’t get me wrong. This isn’t about victim-blaming or excusing airlines from the need for better staff training. Some customer service folks and flight attendants are just having a rough day, which can be a big inconvenience to travelers. But many times, travelers (especially those who don’t fly frequently) don’t know or don’t practice some of the basic travel strategies that could significantly improve their experience. So here’s my take on a few tips that will keep you sane, organized, and better prepared for the unpredictable nature of air travel.

1. Build Buffer Time into Your Itinerary

One mistake I see is that people don’t plan enough buffer time for the unexpected. If you’re traveling for a wedding, vacation, or big event, try not to fly in the day before. Or, if you have work early the day after you return, consider a “buffer day” in between. This extra time isn’t just a nice-to-have—it’s often a necessity. Flights get delayed, connections are missed, and weather happens. Give yourself a couple of extra days before and after your scheduled activities to account for any disruptions. This way, you’re not frantically trying to find the next flight out or stressing about missing something important.

2. Give Yourself Time at the Airport

It amazes me how often travelers underestimate the time they need just to get to their gate. Arrive at least two hours prior to departure for domestic flights, three for international, and remember that every airport is different. Some have lengthy security lines or shuttle buses between terminals, so plan for that too. Many airport websites now display live security wait times, which can be a lifesaver. Just an extra 20-30 minutes could mean the difference between a smooth boarding experience and a panicked sprint to the gate. If you give yourself that cushion, you’ll find that your travel day starts off on a much less frantic note.

3. Mind Your Manners with Customer Service

Here’s something I’ve observed frequently: many people don’t treat customer service workers—whether flight attendants, gate agents, or food service staff—with the respect they deserve. If you’re experiencing an issue and need a solution, approach these interactions with a polite tone. Speaking down to gate agents or flight attendants won’t get you any closer to solving your problem, and it can even create unnecessary friction. Try empathy and patience. Often, a calm approach can lead to faster, more favorable results than a frustrated one.

4. Understand How Airlines Operate: A Little Research Goes a Long Way

One tip that can save you headaches: know a bit about how airlines work, like understanding the difference between hub-and-spoke and point-to-point models. Some airlines focus on funneling flights through certain hubs, while others specialize in direct routes. If you know how your airline manages flights, you’ll have a clearer picture of possible options if something goes wrong.

For instance, I recently faced an issue flying from Boston to Dallas. All the direct flights were booked, so I purchased a ticket with a connection in Philadelphia. But shortly after, I saw my first leg was delayed, and I’d likely miss my connection. My husband helped me come up with a plan, and we approached customer service with several alternatives in mind. Knowing American Airlines' hubs, we checked flights from Boston to New York, Miami, and Charlotte. The agent appreciated the options we’d pulled up, and not only did we find a new route, but he even upgraded someone else so I could get a seat. I ended up back in Dallas that evening, all because we had a plan and stayed polite.

Final Thoughts: Make Travel Better for Everyone

In the end, most travel stress stems from lack of planning, inexperience, or unrealistic expectations. And too often, this stress creates a negative feedback loop when travelers take out their frustration on the staff who are actually there to help. With a few adjustments to your travel routines—building in time, researching alternate routes, and keeping your cool—you’ll have a better trip, and those around you will too. So here’s to smoother, stress-free travels, and a little extra kindness along the way. ✈️